Friday, August 30, 2013

Casting news: LeAnn Rimes as comatose Sunny Von Bulow and Eddie Cibrian as insulin injecting hubby Claus Von Bulow!

We have found the perfect project for LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian once their 'scripted reality show' flops.

The constantly sick LeAnn Rimes can play American Socialite Sunny Von Bulow, who was put into a 28-year vegetative state in 1980 after an insulin injection from her social climbing, money grubbing hubby Claus Von Bulow.

Since Le is always sick, she just sits in bed for all the scenes, nostrils flared, eyes little slits, her natural blonde hair placed strategically on the pillow. 

You know Eddie can't act, but he's got a lot of Claus Von Bulow in him already that could lead to an Academy Award nomination. 

Yes, LeAnn and Eddie are the new Sunny and Claus. Perfect casting. 

Real Reality: Forget ducks, the Robertson clan decimate the Kardashians ratings

It's official, Duck Dynasty is the biggest reality show of all time, with their Season 4 'Phil and Kay Vow Renewal' opener bringing in almost 12 million viewers.

Kim's fake wedding to Kris Humphries only brought in 4 million and was their highest rated episode ever.

Flashback Friday Fun: Duck Dynasty's Willie Robertson and family, pre-beard

Willie, you handsome scalawag you!

That's Willie, wife Korie, son John Luke and daughter Sadie back in the day...

Brave LeAnn Rimes tweeting from deathbed

Too bad she has such a sad and lame sense of humor. LOL.
LOL is code for "I'm a stupid person who has no sense of humor and this is as close as I can get to one."
Can't her non-existent doctor put her on "twitter rest?"

LeAnn Rimes cancels concerts, deathly ill, doctors urge family to remove life support

Her last wish?
A photo op in front of a phalanx of paparazzi:

Since Perez Hilton has stolen numerous photos of mine for his website, payback is a bitch, bitch

Snowy Range Music Festival rep has been told "LeAnn Rimes has SUDDEN debilitating illness, can't speak..."

Poor Horsey! She's near death?!
At least that's what her handlers fed to the Snowy Range Music Festival in Laramie, Wyoming.
She can't even speak--let alone yodel!
OMG. This is serious!

Countdown to "Le" wearing a halter top, short shorts, and high heels at Malibu Chili Cook-off and Fair...

Kris Jenner removes vanity plates: "Clipper Mom" has left the building

Kris Jenner used to have a vanity plate on her Bentley, it read: LAKR MOM.
Lamar Odom was traded to the Dallas Mavericks and the Bentley quickly went to a regular number plate.
Kris Jenner had "CLPR MOM" vanity plate put on her white Mercedes G-Wagen.
Lamar Odom will not be playing in the NBA any time soon, perhaps ever.
The car is now being driven around by Kylie Jenner (who crashed her brand new G-Wagon) and it has no plates, just an empty bracket. 

That leaves us to replace the plate, how about "DUI MOM"?
After all, daughter Khloe has one as well...

Flashback Friday: Best. Cover. Ever.

Kris Jenner calls emergency family meeting: "We're circling the drain..."

Lamar Odom's DUI
Kylie Jenner car crash
Kris Jenner talk show cancelation
Keeping Up With the Kardashians barely getting 1 million viewers in the 18-49 demo
Khloe called "Ugly" by pop culture poet Eminem in new song

It's time for them to go AWAY.

Decoding Horsey's tweet: Bonus son got me sick, that's why I'm not going to yodel in Wyoming--but see you at the Malibu Carnival!

Once you get to know the mentally ill singer that is Margaret LeAnn Rimes, you can easily de-code her tweets with deft swiftness.
Let us analyze her latest tweet:

Now, in this tweet we learn that Horsey is very sick. But why? Can it be that one of her back to school bonus son's gave her the ailment?
She has accused them of that in the past.
In this case Mason, 10, bears the brunt of the tweet.
Due to this catastrophic diagnosis, two venues in Wyoming will have to do without the somber pitchy yodelings of Le.
She had two gigs there, one today, Friday, and one tomorrow.
Now, she alleges that chicken broth and mash potatoes are what she needs to get better.

A MIRACULOUS thing will happen in the next 24 hours. Horsey will be completely cured!

She will be photographed with Mr Ed taking the Cibrian boys to the annual carnival in Malibu, with staged photos to document the occasion.
So to you poor dumb saps in Wyoming who actually bought tickets to see this train wreck, take two aspirins and don't call Horsey in the morning.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

LeAnn Rimes "fall from grace" moment, writes a one time fan

From Amazing Grace to Fall From Grace

LeAnn vs Taylor--whose career looks the best?

It's Josh Duhamel and wife Fergie!

Fergie shared the cute pics on her Instagram, inviting her followers to envision what their baby son will look like.

Today she gave birth to their son Axl Jack Duhamel via C-Section at a Los Angeles hospital.

Congratulations to still very cute couple!

Can you guess who these cuter than cute (now famous) toddlers are?

This is actually a nightmare for Martin Luther King...

Wasn't Eddie available to hold the umbrella?
Horsey sang "Amazing Grace" at the MLK 50th anniversary celebration of his "I Have A Dream" speech in Washington DC.
Us Weekly considers this a "hot pic," but we're not sure why?

Kylie Jenner celebrates getting her license by rear ending another car

Just 18 days after getting her license and bragging on twitter about how many Mercedes SUV's are filling her family's driveway, Kylie Jenner plowed her brand new G-Wagon into the car in front of her in the Old Town section of Calabasas.
This clearly isn't the "rear-ender" that Kris Jenner dreamed of for her youngest daughter...(insert sex tape joke here)

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Oh jeez, is Exposarazzi psychic? Leah Remini and Valerie Harper join Dancing With The Stars

Did we predict the Leah thing or what?
Valerie, well, this will be interesting...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Birthday girl Valerie Harper finds out that media friends are fast and fake

Valerie Harper turned 74 on August 22, 2013, but no one wrote about it and no one seemed to care.
How can it be that fickle media friend People mag put her on the cover in March with a "six months to live" tag line (due to a brain cancer diagnosis) and then forgot about her birthday?
Six months after their cover and she made it to the ripe (oldish) age of 74, good for her.
Harper also got an acting job and flew all the way to Canada to work on a TV movie in early August.
One day you're headlines around the world, and the next day Miley Cyrus is "twerking" with a foam finger on an awards show and you're forgotten entirely.

So, we'll say it, 'Happy Birthday Valerie,' we're glad you're going strong!

Eminem calls Khloe "The ugly Kardashian" in new song Berzerk

Marshall Mathers is at it again, making fun of celebrities, or reality stars in this case.
His target? Khloe Kardashian.

Hey Dancing With The Stars, sign Leah Remini up!

We're pushing for Dancing With The Stars to sign the former King of Queens actress up asap.
Hot on the heels of ditching Scientology she's in the news.
It also doesn't hurt that one of her best pals is JLo, and she may show up in the audience.
We saw Remini do a salsa type dance in a dream sequence on her old sitcom, and she's got some moves!

Candy Spelling's dog "Madison" is the One Percent

Candy Spelling tweeted a photo of her dog Madison in his new bed.

Life is good for this uber rich (Wheaten Terrier) pooch! Smile Madison!

Monday, August 26, 2013

LeAnn Rimes "luau" themed birthday 31st party, better known as, "Ever see a horse eat a pig?"

EXCLUSIVE: Eddie Cibrian reveals luscious Lizzie's last name in Public Record custody court docs from 2009

We're guessing the "friend" he had a dinner date with was none other than Horsey, Lizzie's BFF

Eddie Cibrian blasts ex-wife for doing staged photos, but his new wife can do it all she wants!

If we do not study History, we are doomed to repeat ourselves.

Take a look at this paragraph from a custody document filed by Eddie Cibrian in 2009.

It's like he could be talking about LeAnn Rimes!

TMZ's source for Lamar Odom bashing posts is...drumroll...Harvey Levin's BFF Kris Jenner! Surprise!

Okay, so you're not surprised. They've been pals for years, in fact, they would even sit together at the OJ Simpson trial back in 1995.
But isn't it amazing that Lamar Odom managed to not do crack cocaine during the basketball season and only got hooked on it after the season was over-- for two years in a row?
How does that work?
NBA players face random and organized drug testing, so TMZ had to alter Kris Jenner's original gossip to fit reality.
The truth is, Lamar was cheating on Princess Sasquatch (Khloe) and the Kartrashian Klan is humiliated. So, they're off to ruin what's left of Lamar Odom's basketball career, virtually insuring no one will hire him for the 2013-2014 season.
Proving that nothing good comes from hooking up with a Kardashian...(ask Kris Humphries, if you can find him)